Mark: …but there are so many great 80s dances! Like this:
Mark: [demonstrates]
KJ: Is that The Carlton?
Mark: No, The Carlton’s like this:
Mark: [demonstrates]
KJ: Haha, oh yes.
Mark: Wait, did you just—
KJ: I really just wanted you to do The Carlton.
Mark: You manipulated me! You took advantage of my love of dancing and my love of accuracy! You win this round, Arathooon!
On the way to a Yankees game, eavesdropping on a fairly bro-ey guy and his female companion:
Guy: Yeah, I lived with both of them.
Girl: Oh man.
Guy: And it was so funny, because Zack would wear like, shorts and shoes. And Gomez would say, “What is this, are you wearing.” And Zack would say, “You don’t know what style is.” They were so funny.
Girl: Oh man.
Guy: And Gomez would be like, “It’s not cool. You don’t even know. You don’t even know.”
Girl: That’s a really good Gomez impression.
“It’s not every day you get to be part of the Mount Tabor Auxiliary Tulip Sale!”
-Tina
It’s not, but I wish it was.
Union Square; a gaggle of boisterous teens spill onto the L train, just as the conductor announces that the train will be going into Brooklyn instead of to 8th avenue.
Teen 1: Yo, yo, this train’s going to Brooklyn.
Teen 2: Where?
Teen 1: Brooklyn!
Teen 3: Going to Brooklyn?
Teen 1: Yeah!
Teen 2: Well… alright. Let’s go to Brooklyn then!
and they did.
(as a toddler races past on a tricycle)
Berkowitz: I mean what is this, the Indianapolis 400?
“How ARE you? Oh, who cares. But how ARE you? You look GORGEOUS!”
-Woman speaking to another woman, late at night on Vanderbilt Ave
Some time when we were playing Celebrity, anyway…
Mark: The team wil be Joe through Adam.
Fred: But what will our team name be?
Berkowitz: Good point. The Finger Bangers?
Mark: No.
Berkowitz: Finger Blasters?
Mark: Better, but no.
Berkowitz: Finger—
Mark: Nothing involving fingers, I think.
Berkowitz: Digital Bangers?
Fred: I like it, it’s futuristic.
Mark: The author of Girl With A Dragon Tattoo.
Amy: Lieg Starsson!
Jayson (?): That’s the Dragon With The Girl Tattoo.
Fred: A designer.
Mark: Ralph Lauren?
Fred: Same number of syllables…
Mark: Marc Jacobs.
Fred: Yes!
KJ: Oh, McQueen—Steve McQueen!
((update: apparently it was Adam, not Jayson. My apologies to both individuals for the confusion.))
“This constitutes an exercise of our constitutional right to exercise. With a constitutional.”
-KJ
“So you have 40 points, and I have… um, negative 50. So that’ll be a practice round, because you’re just learning how to play…”
-Mark
Tyler: Are those people older than us, or just straighter?
[long, considered pause]
Tyler: Straighter.
“Do you think Adele is going to skip over whatshisface? Oh, sorry, not Adele—Queen Elisabeth.”
-Teenage boy to mother, in my allergist’s waiting room
LaPolla:
“You and Mark are the cutest, because you are constantly learning how to be a human, and Mark is sooooo patient.”
two weeks later
Kerber:
“Yeah. I like it when he explains things to you.”
hmph.
LaPolla: But aren’t we going east right now?
KJ: No, we’re going south.
LaPolla: Oh, I thought Oregon was east of Washington. So what’s that state to the east, then, Utah?
KJ: It’s, um… Idaho. Wait, did you say Utah??
LaPolla: Yes?
KJ: That’s in the Southwest!
LaPolla: Whatever. If it’s west of New Jersey, I just don’t care.
KJ: I gave up alcohol for Lent.
Ben: That seems like the kind of perfect Katie-nonsense thing to do. I gave up zipping my fly for Lent.
Mark: That seems like the kind of perfect Ben-nonsense thing to do.
Ben: Two in the goldshlagger is worth three in the turtle!
KJ rummages through the fridge, trying to scrounge up dinner.
KJ: Well, we have vegetables and a beer, and sausages, and some cereal and more vegetables, and eggs and…. More vegetables. Do you want me to make you some sausages?
Daphne: Hmm… I think I’m good with beer and cereal, actually.
KJ: I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I love you.
Berkowitz: I like my ladies like I like my treaties: without arms.
Mark: I like my ladies like I like my surgeries: invasive!
