Debauched Sloth

MSPaint Portfolio: Equality in party pants

Wed, 22 May 2013 08:30:24 -0400

Created by Mum, with the email subject line “No species discrimination”

KJ: I like her rakish bandana
Mum: She said it was necessary
Mum: She tried on various hats, but none of them flattered her beak

If the only thing anyone ever takes away from this blog is that my mother is the best ever, that would be just fine.

paved with good intentions

Tue, 21 May 2013 13:43:36 -0400

11/6/12, message from HR:
We have registered as a collection spot for New York Cares Coat drive. We will have boxes in the conference rooms on each floor where you can drop off any gently used coats, and help make another New Yorker’s winter a little bit warmer. Please bring all coats in by next week Tuesday.

5/14/13, message from HR:
I was cleaning out the supply closet on the 5th floor and noticed a giant box of coats sitting on one of the shelves. If anyone knows who this may belong to please let me know. If this belong to you please remove it. I also found a few random t shirts in there as well.

If no one claims the box I will throw it out.

Paint Portfolio: they said you was high classed

Fri, 17 May 2013 08:30:24 -0400

The FAB family does not discriminate by species. Party Pants for everyone!
Follow the adventures of Big Poodle here, one of my very favorite things on all of the internet.

MSPaint portfolio: October song

Thu, 16 May 2013 08:30:01 -0400

Last year, Christine and I discussed what she should wear for Halloween…

XJ:
I told the one person that would get it about my brilliant Bat Out of Hell costume idea and he had a good laugh. I’m so tempted by the idea, but I don’t want to have to explain it all night long.

Anyway, there you have it.

KJ:
For Halloween (or maybe just in general) I think you should knit a shirt where each of your arms is the trunk of an elephant (two elephants total) and then you should hang a sign around each of their “necks” saying Gerald, and then you could be Elephants Gerald all night.

(This is a punchline both Mark and Evan came up with independently)

I have illustrated the concept:

XJ:
That is pretty freaking funny. I don’t know that I have the time to knit an entire elephant sweater before halloween, but I could probably come up with something. I do have a grey long sleeve shirt I almost never wear anymore… What else do you have?

I am pretty sure that I would never ever have come up with that ever, and yet you know two other people that did independently. Weird.

KJ:
Carry a spear. Shake it at people.
“I’m Shakes spear.”

Wear a bathing suit, with a sign around your neck saying “one last time!”
“Once more unto the beach, my friends!”

Carry an oar and a dagger.
“Murder, she rowed.”

Dress as a lizard, but your tail has fallen off and you’re holding it in your hand. “Reptile dysfunction.”

(anything? anything?)

XJ:
Oh man those are all so good! I like them all so much! The swimsuit one is good, I may have to wear it over my clothes though…

hilarious.

What about an elaborate shiny rock costume with dreadlocks. “Dread Pyrite Roberts.”
KJ:
Ha!

Dress as a gnome who is wearing an impeccable new suit and man purse, and incidentally keeps excellent time. Metro-gnome.

XJ:
hahaha. incidentally keeps excellent time. hahahaha. i could put my metronome in my pocket and just beep all evening in perfect time. i love it.

Friday: wintry mix

Wed, 15 May 2013 08:30:02 -0400

Saturday: snow
Sunday: partly cloudy
Monday: jellyfish invasion

Or maybe something like this:

(via)

Paint Portfolio: Magical Weekend, aftermath

Tue, 14 May 2013 08:30:12 -0400

Ever since I was a small Katie Jane I have wanted a Magic Garden, which was advertised in various catalogues throughout my youth.

This, along with several other key items (a gold pendant that spelled my name in hieroglyphics; Samantha’s patent leather shoes) were things that I lusted over, but could never quite bear to part with my pocket money to buy. Instead I would page through catalogs day after day, dreaming of becoming a millionaire, while my weekly quarters amassed in a pink Little Twin Stars tin, untouched.

Anyway, a year or so ago we found the Magic Garden in a thrift shop. Unchanged in my miserliness after all these years, I couldn’t quite justify spending a whole dollar to achieve a life-long childhood dream, so Mark bought it for me as a present.

In March, I brought it along to Magical Weekend, a yearly excursion to the woods and snow. To my delight, everyone else was equally excited to set the thing up and watch it bloom. Moreover, it proved to be an activity that leant itself very well to a night of serious drinking, as the fiddly bit happened in the beginning, and then for the rest of the night one could wander away, forget all about it, then come across it in its new more growthful state to be amazed anew.

As for Paint, post-MW, I felt it only fitting to create this image:

P.S. “Magical garden” makes a great Google image search

Paint Portfolio: Magical Weekend, planning stages

Mon, 13 May 2013 08:30:28 -0400

Claire: I heard a rumor some people might be interested in snowshoeing… [Details about REI rental.]
KJ: Yeah! [Further details about REI rental.] I think I’m going to pick up a pair and do some tromping, if anyone feels like joining me!
Kerri: I’ve never done it but I’d be down for some snowshoe action!
Erin: I’m not sure how you nap in snowshoes.
KJ: Erin: see attached!

For the record, we did snowshoe and it was fantastic:

Claire and Kerri

synchronized instagram

turns out you can run in them!

MS Paint Portfolio: draculus vulgaris

Sun, 12 May 2013 08:30:21 -0400

I can bring my computer into meetings now.

MS Paint Portfolio: Fabric of our lives

Sat, 11 May 2013 08:30:10 -0400

I’ve been experimenting with fabric design over at Spoonflower.com, using Paint of course. If you know how fun it is designing anything in Paint, just think how fun it is trying to create a repeating pattern!

Here’s a few, created for the contests they hold every week:

“Swirl of Chicks”
(based on this original)

“Where do Pysansky Eggs Come From?”

“A Buncha Budgies”

Spoonflower has an entertaining function where they show what your stuff would look like as wallpaper:

Citizenry!

Fri, 10 May 2013 08:30:01 -0400

We’re dropping like flies:

Hellamerican, y’all.

Spotted at the bowling alley

Thu, 09 May 2013 08:30:00 -0400

At first I thought the interesting thing about this was that “Margaret’s 90th” looks like “Margaret’s goth.”

But now that I think about it, maybe the interesting thing is that this bowling alley is selling or displaying mysterious beverages celebrating nonagenarians.

Gothic nonagenarians.

letters2myneighbors: I’m somewhat up to date on your life...

Wed, 08 May 2013 16:03:33 -0400

letters2myneighbors:

I’m somewhat up to date on your life because of the blog, but it’s a funny way to be kept updated on someone, because it’s like tiny focused glimpses into a life without the overall picture. Like looking at a painting through a small magnifying glass in random spots.

Dear KJ,

You are a beautiful and wonderful human being and friend. And I agree. It is always weird when my real life friends talk to me about things they read on my tumblr. Tumblr is such a tiny outlet for weird things that happen in my immediate vicinity and I assume it mostly goes unread (like this has over 4 words and nothing is moving so I think I can name the 3 people who will read it in its entirety). It makes me feel that my communication skills leave much to be desired. I consider myself an excellent correspondent, I even send letters via snail mail, but find that people still slip through the cracks. I think a lot of it has to do with constantly moving and people being out of sight and (sorry) out of mind, but I will continue to strive to be better. I used to do mass emails when exciting things happened in my life, like moves or limb loss, but kept getting complaints that the emails weren’t personal enough (thanks mom) so I gave up. I mostly communicate solely in animated gif these days.

So get ready KJ. It’s coming!

-YN

I don’t really know how Tumblr reblogging works (apparently it turns everything purple?), but YN: I was born ready.

Ready for the Superbowl

Wed, 08 May 2013 08:30:17 -0400

Suddenly patriotic to San Francisco, after all these years

AOL Time Warner did not cooperate

Paint guest post: I think cool cats really did flip

Tue, 07 May 2013 08:30:02 -0400

I woke up early Saturday morning to find this glorious bounty in my inbox, from my mother (responding to this post):

Yeah, I pretty much exploded and died of happiness on the spot. The top picture is of our current cat, Charlotte. The bottom picture was my best beloved Poe, who would definitely not have tolerated party pants.

Makeouts for all

Mon, 06 May 2013 08:30:16 -0400

Front and back cover of a recent New York Magazine:

Why thank you, AM NY

Sun, 05 May 2013 08:30:16 -0400

A red letter day

Sat, 04 May 2013 08:30:17 -0400

From last summer:

Lions and bears, oh my

Fri, 03 May 2013 08:30:38 -0400

If anything, working in advertising has made me less critical of the ads I see, as I now understand the processes that lead to ideas getting downgraded, typos creeping in, offensive subtexts getting overlooked, etc. Obviously it shouldn’t happen, but at least now I understand why it sometimes does. However, there are still a few things I’d like to say to certain admen. To whit:

Dear Tous: This is creepy.

Dear Zoni: Neither spectacles nor lion ears work this way.

Three cool cats

Thu, 02 May 2013 15:37:00 -0400

Friend Adam P, who is also into MS Paint, sent out a party invite today ending with:

»
Bring: Your party pants. And some booze.

Hope to see you all there - if you have friends, relatives or dogs that you want to invite, please forward this e-mail to them. All are welcomed (except cats).
»

The following ensued:

KJ:

Adam:
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

this is amazing!!!!!

he can come.

KJ:

Adam:
This jerk is NOT allowed!!!

He’ll eat all the cheese and scare all of the children!!

I hate him.

KJ:
oh no! he should have quit while he was ahead

Adam:
If we allow the cats to show up, this is what I’m assuming will happen.

Touché, touché. You win this round, Adam! And every round, because you are amazing.

Space lord mother mother

Thu, 02 May 2013 09:20:00 -0400

My maternal unit has accused me—me!—of not posting enough. And since my mother is always right about everything, I will attempt to rectify this issue. I’m still snowed under at work, but surely there must be some prolixity to consolidate?

Yes indeed. To start with, Aemon and I have been beavering (space-beavering??) away on spaceoters.tumblr.com. Here are the posts that have gone live since my last round-up:

Hupyrian Beetle
Pyrithian Moon Hawk
Bardakian pronghorn moose
Kavarian tiger-bat
Filian python
Barrowbug
Screech rhino
Gunji jackdaw
Denobulan lemur
Denebian whale

Pyrithian Moon Hawk is probably my favorite so far, but I pretty much love all of them. It has been great fun working on a project with such an enthusiastic and talented partner!

In the MS Paint category, here is a banner I made for the blog:

Obviously the image is Aemon’s, but the bottom maroon bar and lettering: that’s all MS paint, baby!